Grant Yourself Grace: A Story About Boundaries and Loving Yourself

I see you with that painted-on smile and tears in your eyes.

You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to keep pushing through. Grant yourself grace.

I see you arriving home bone-tired, numb, and unaware of the last ten miles of your day-end commute. Take a long hot bath. Treat yourself to a relaxing massage from your very own hands. Grant yourself grace.

I see you replaying those hurtful words in an endless loop, and with them the look on that person’s face. Shame is not allowed to live here. Grant yourself grace.

I see you making plans for change, then hitting snooze and skipping that workout again.

Don’t beat yourself up. Revisit your why, your plan. Recommit after work, tomorrow morning, this weekend. Grant yourself grace.

I see you reliving some old story, some past mistake(s).

Let that shit go! Celebrate who you are today, how far you’ve come, and all the ways you are willing and committed to continue your growth. Grant yourself grace.

I see you glancing at that pile of laundry, sighing and shaking your head.

Do you live alone? Grant yourself grace.

Does someone else (a group of someone else’s) need to learn this important life skill, and that you too have needs? Grant yourself grace.

I see those old stories, programming, conditioning—lies telling you what good looks like, talks like, acts like.

Open your eyes and your ears to the truth in your heart. Those stories need to change. Grant yourself grace.

I see you grimacing when that name pops up on your phone, declining that call, ignoring that text … that person, that issue.

Emotional boundaries are a real and necessary thing. You absolutely are doing the right thing attending to your emotional health. Maybe you’ll tackle the issue when you’re more resourced. Maybe the issue was never yours to tackle. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you saying no, then questioning if it was wrong, selfish because of the push back you received. It’s not wrong. No is a valid and healthy response. It doesn’t need further explanation. Trust yourself to know your limits and to enforce them. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you assigning chores, setting expectations, following through with consequences to get what you need. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you having that hard conversation, leaning in and asking more questions for understanding, stating how you feel and what you need, even when you feel uncomfortable. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you going for a walk, pushing play on your workout, cooking healthy meals that “they” don’t like. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you in your pajamas on a Saturday afternoon, leaving things undone, lounging on your couch, and staring out the window at the elongated shadows of the tall trees.

Savor this moment. This is granting yourself grace.

I see you making time for you and the things that you like, need, desire. This is you granting yourself grace.

Grant yourself grace upon grace upon grace upon grace to do, to be, to fail, to try again, to have boundaries, to set limits and expectations, to know what you need, to ask for what you need—to believe you are worthy and deserving, because You Are.

Now. Already. You are enough. Grant yourself grace.