Intention Setting and the Self-Work Required for Real Change
Self-work is self-love work – grace to explore our wants, desires, needs, limits, beliefs, stories, and fears. Self-work is where real change happens so that we can create our boldest and fullest lives.
Life is passing us by! Our days are stuffed with appointments and commitments and unexpected fires that we must put out.
We fall into bed exhausted, and wake up on Wednesday, then Friday, then Sunday evening wondering where the time went, AND vowing to make the next week, next month – next year different.
A new year full of hope and possibility is ours for the taking.
2024! Another shot at the goals that were waylaid by life in 2023.
2024! A chance to make progress on a dream.
2024! An opportunity to nourish ourselves and do it differently this time.
Our time and energy are limited. If we truly want 2024 to be different, we need to be intentional with not only what we desire but also with what we will avoid at all costs.
Alex Banayan, bestselling author of THE THIRD DOOR, and also the youngest bestselling business author, discusses making a list of 25 things you want to ace in the next twelve months. Then he challenges you to pick only five of those things to focus on, because he says that you can be good at twenty-five things or world class at five.
The idea of being world class at my desires inspires me, and it’s why I tried Alex’s method for my 2023 goals. My success with Alex’s method is why I’m sharing his suggestion here.
My success came from gaining clarity on my intentions and developing an awareness of the stories that hold me back from reaching my goals.
I’d like to challenge you to complete Alex’s intention-setting activity. Set aside some time and list all the things you want to work on, and then think about the following questions:
- Did you come up with twenty-five? More? Less?
- How hard is it to narrow the list down to just five things?
- Can any of your goals be grouped together? Maybe one or two, or three or five are serving a common purpose, and guiding you to your true top five.
My book was a top-five-level 2023 goal, along with my health, my family, travel, and nurturing other important relationships in my life. My goal to publish my novel was broad; it comprised subgoals like working with a book coach, attending retreats and workshops, devoting time to my writing, and growing in the craft. I had to take into account my goals and the time each goal required, as well as the time I had available to accomplish each goal.
If you’re serious about making 2024 different, plan to review and revisit your list periodically to see if the intentions you listed are aligned with your desires. Is this where you’d like to focus your time and energy? If not, revise, and then commit to the work—the real, deep-level self-work that is part of the journey of living out your list.
That work is where change begins. It involves confronting attitudes and habits, and identifying your beliefs and the stories you are telling yourself.
Our stories are a beacon illuminating our fears. And, our fears impact our actions. Being vulnerable with ourselves and having the courage to explore the stories we are telling ourselves is where we learn what is really holding us back from making lasting change.
When I got curious about my stories, I could see why my writing goal was taking a backseat in my life. I was telling myself:
I don’t have time to write.
Writing is just a hobby. It doesn’t pay my bills.
I’m not meant to be a writer. I don’t have the chops to be a writer.
2024 can be different. Alex Banayan’s activity is a great place to start, but the deep-level self-work is where change will truly happen.
Make the list.
Commit to the work with a curious and compassionate mindset around the stories that you are telling yourself.
Revisit and review the list.
And, of course, revise as needed.
Life is too short not to fill it with the people and activities that nourish us most.
