Escape the Mundane

Beams of light illuminate my air bubbles as they drift to the safety of the surface I have left behind. They taunt me with their peaceful ascent. 

Nature, delicate and raw, is suspended around me.

A turbulent undercurrent drowns out the serenity.

The series of scuba classes that have brought me to this point focused on proficiency and safety, and even though my instructor is an arm’s length away, doubt is consuming me.

The dreaded mask clearing—fully removing my mask while under the water—fills my mind. I can do it. I know I can do it. I just don’t like doing it. The underwater world of color and life blurs without my mask. I need to see everything. I feel more in control with my mask on. And, to top it all off, memories of nose breathing that ended in inhaled water (on more than one occasion) vividly replay in my mind.

Looking back now, the perceived threats of blurred images and inhaling water weren’t as bad as I was allowing my fears to make them. The threats, though numerous, were silly. But they were real to me in the moment of that dive.

That dive was no ordinary dive. It was my checkout dive—the culmination of my Open Water SCUBA Certification. I worried about the possibility of not passing my series of underwater tasks; one of those underwater tasks just happened to be mask clearing #4.

I didn’t mind mask clearing #1: allowing just a little bit of water into my mask.

I didn’t mind mask clearing #2: allowing water to fill half of my mask.

I didn’t even mind mask clearing #3: allowing water to completely fill my mask.

I also didn’t mind demonstrating a few tasks with my regulator. This is the crazy part … I didn’t mind removing my breathing apparatus, and even throwing it as far as you can throw a regulator under water, then retrieving it.

But mask clearing #4 did more than intimidate me. Knowing that everything would blur when I removed my mask freaked me out! I loathed the moment when my instructor pointed to me and then his mask and displayed four fingers. Mask clearing #4: removing my mask, holding it out to my side, readjusting it on my head, and then blowing through my nose until all the water was removed from it.

Now, you have probably made the rational connection that you can survive without seeing under water, but you can’t survive without breathing. I clearly wasn’t being rational; I was thinking with my emotions.

I wanted control—the perception of control. I like to feel in charge of the outcome. Obviously, I had prepared for the outcome I wanted, but my mind was busy tabulating all the things that could go wrong.

My personal stumbling block that day was, and unfortunately some days still is, an irrational mind. A seed of doubt that whispers all the what-ifs: What if you drop your mask and inhale half the ocean, which you choke on, and can’t see which way is up to the surface? Whenever I focus on those what ifs, I numb my potential and miss the opportunities right in front of me. I grant my fears the power to create a mask I hide behind, a mask that is nothing more than a false sense of security created in the mundane.

Some people would argue the benefits of a mundane existence: a place where things are familiar, comforting, and safe. There are many days when that is all I want as well, but life slips by me when I have too many common, ordinary days, and I find myself craving those moments that are wrapped in emotions I never forget—even the irrational mask clearing #4 ones.

I am proud to say that I completed my scuba certification. I was able to demonstrate all I was taught to do, but even more than that, I can still connect with the unforgettable feeling of adrenaline rushing through my veins. It was a moment when I felt alive. I wasn’t just existing in life—I was experiencing life.

I am forcing myself to take a new step now and embracing more feelings of discomfort. I invite you to escape the mundane with me.

You never know what exciting experiences are waiting right after that first step into the unknown.

Let me know about your own fears, as well as any steps you have taken to get past those vulnerable moments.