Dear High School Self

A special friend sparked the idea for this post. She mentioned in passing what she would tell her high school self. Her words stuck to me like glue and began to seep into the recessed crevices of my regrets and unmet goals that have been covered over by layers of time.

Thinking back on our lives is a tricky thing. While reflecting on the joys and growth opportunities of the past is meaningful, dwelling on the past can fill us with regret, fear that it will happen again, or a longing for if only things had been different (so that it would have never happened in the first place). Memories of our adolescent years are particularly ripe with potential for both reflection and dwelling. At times, we all wish we could go back and tell our high school selves something that would alter our lives and how we live them today. High school graduation season seems like the perfect time to stop and reflect on the past before we start moving forward again.

Because this piece held special meaning, I reached out and asked many of you for advice—advice that I knew would have the potential to impact not only the youth in our lives, but also those of us who survived that time. The school years tend to be a time of vivid memories, and, unfortunately, those memories aren’t always the happiest. But, as I was researching this piece, it seems those trying times were the fresh plantings of seedlings that matured into the knowledge of today. I am excited to share the wonderful “words of wisdom” I gathered while working on this post. I can still hear each voice as I share the responses here. It is true: wisdom can’t be bought. It can only be earned, and the many voices that speak through this piece are full of wisdom earned over time.

I should note that many of you offered similar thoughts, which I grouped together not to take away from your voice but to give power to every word shared below. I hope I have done justice to all the golden nuggets of wisdom each of you contributed, but more than that, I hope these words inspire you just as each and every one (along with the conversations that revolved around them) inspired me.

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Dear High School Self:

Never stop dreaming.

Have a plan, but don’t be afraid to change it.

Find your passion, and then fuel it with something as powerful to you as gasoline is to fire.

Take risks. Start your own business. Strike up a conversation with a stranger or that guy/girl you noticed.

Don’t settle for anything. Aim high.

Spend a little more time on school.

Finish high school and go to college.

Name brand clothes don’t make the person.

Being popular is not everything.

Peer pressure is bull****.

You don’t have to be perfect in order to have a successful life. In the end, it doesn’t matter if you had all As, you were a size 0, or you were the most popular kid in school. None of that stuff matters.

Embrace your failures. Learn from your mistakes.

Expose your deepest fears. They are not as scary after you confront them. Not only that, but somebody else has the same fears as you and needs to know they are not alone.

Don’t let depression, self-doubt, or feelings of worthlessness keep you from reaching your goals.

Have confidence.

Don’t be afraid of rejection—behind that rejection is what you really wanted, even needed.

Not all guys or girls are like your ex. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Stop overthinking it.

Smile.

Be courteous. Say please and thank you. Open doors for each other … and hold them open, too. (Well, I think this is what he wanted to tell present-day high schoolers.)

Forgive—fully giving grace and mercy to others.

Speak words of understanding into someone else’s life.

Time is short. Don’t waste it—catch that smile, sunrise, and sunset.

Plan for tomorrow but don’t get lost there or in memories from yesterday. Experience today.

Start saving money as soon as you start working.

Loyalty is rare in this day and time. Be the exception.

Nurture others; in doing so, you nurture yourself.

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone what they mean in your life.

Love freely. Love deeply. The way you love and the people you love become your legacy. The greatest of these is love.